{"id":1637,"date":"2023-08-23T09:00:11","date_gmt":"2023-08-23T09:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dev.nancybonamy.com\/conjointe-expatriee-3-cles-pour-oser-taccorder-du-temps-a-toi\/"},"modified":"2024-07-07T18:56:59","modified_gmt":"2024-07-07T18:56:59","slug":"conjointe-expatriee-3-cles-pour-oser-taccorder-du-temps-a-toi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nancybonamy.com\/en\/expat-spouse-3-keys-to-daring-take-time-for-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Expat Spouse: 3 keys to daring take time for yourself!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019re an expat spouse, you\u2019ll probably agree with me when I say that, despite what those around you may think, it\u2019s often very complicated to daring take time for yourself! And this is especially true if you\u2019re not working!\n<br><br>\nAnd why is that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong>LEARN ABOUT IT IN THIS VIDEO!!<\/strong> <mark class=\"has-inline-color has-palette-color-5-color\">(if you rather watch it on Youtube, it\u2019s through <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=HOGd17cIZ-Y\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">here<\/a>)<\/mark>.\n<br>\nAutomatic english translation is available on youtube<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-995f960e wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:25%\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:50%\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"Conjointe expatri\u00e9e 3 cl\u00e9s pour enfin oser t\u2019accorder du temps \u00e0 toi.\" width=\"1280\" height=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/HOGd17cIZ-Y?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:25%\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-palette-color-2-color\">IF YOU PREFER READING, it's this way.<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">Why is it complicate to make time for yourself, especially if you are not working?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I can think of three reasons:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>The loss of your professional identity is difficult to accept in the eyes of others<\/strong> (and certainly in your own eyes), because unfortunately society values the professional identity above all!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>The loss of your financial independence remains a complicated element to deal with <\/strong>on a day-to-day basis and for the future, even if you and your partner have found a way of working things out. It\u2019s still difficult to go from \u201cthe woman who assumes her own identity\u201d to \u201cthe woman of (name of your spouse)\u201d.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>Prejudices and misunderstandings about your life as an expatriate spouse <\/strong>(perceived as easy and privileged) <strong>may have a strong negative impact on your self-image and self-esteem.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The result?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong>Because you\u2019re labeled as an expatriate spouse, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to play this role to perfection, to prove your worth, to please and avoid criticism and judgment! <\/strong>As a result, as soon as you contemplate the idea of taking a little time for yourself, <strong>you feel guilty, even ashamed. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">What\u2019s more, as an expat spouse, you\u2019ve become de facto responsible for the settlement and well-being of your family. And as such, <strong>everyone counts on you and relies on you, often with enormous expectations!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you agree?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"text-transform:none\">3 keys to finally daring to take time for yourself.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If so, here are 3 keys to help you better manage both your own expectations and those of others!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading translation-block\">1st key: Get rid of your injunctions (those you\u2019ve been carrying around with you for so long and those linked to your status as an expat spouse).<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">They often start with \u201cI must\u2026\u201d, \u201cI should\u2026\u201d (just saying them is probably enough to dampen your spirits!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">They may also be injunctions like \u201cBe perfect\u201d, \u201cBe strong\u201d, \u201cHurry up\u201d, \u201cMake an effort\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">There are also many false beliefs that impact your ability to take care of yourself. I\u2019ll give you some examples, so you may find out which ones are yours. For example, \u201cTaking care of yourself is selfish!\u201d, \u201cDepending on my spouse is shameful!\u201d, \u201cBeing a housewife has no value!\u201d \u201cWith my privileged status, I have no right to complain.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These are examples of injunctions; it\u2019s up to you to identify the ones you repeat to yourself regularly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>None of your injunctions are useful and constructive. They\u2019re not doing you any favors. They\u2019re ruining your life and, in turn, preventing you from being a fulfilled mother and partner!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading translation-block\">2nd key: Reconnect with your values, those that are closest to who you are today.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Over the last few years, your values have changed, which is why it\u2019s so important to take stock by clearly identifying them. This will enable you to put them back at the heart of your life. To feel fulfilled, you need to live in accordance with your own values! This is something I systematically do with all the spouses I accompany, because your values highlight what\u2019s important to you today! By reconnecting with your values, you\u2019ll also be able to take care of yourself!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019s an example of a value that can help you take care of yourself. If your value is family, you\u2019ll realize that to take care of your family, you need to take care of yourself, because to feel good with your family, you also need to recharge your batteries. Reconnecting with your \u201cfamily\u201d value will help you take care of yourself. Or, for example, by identifying whether your values are congruent with your role as an expatriate spouse or your professional identity, you\u2019ll give yourself the means to reconnect with them and make the right decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>Your values are invaluable guides for making choices, taking decisions, and setting priorities. They are full of lessons about what you need to thrive.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3rd key: Identify your desires, the real ones, the ones that really get you going!<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Take the time to explore what you like to do, experience and live! Discover what makes you feel good, what makes you happy, what makes your heart sing! It could be something small or something big: a coffee (even a virtual one) with a friend, a walk in nature, a massage, a song you like to listen to, a sport you\u2019d like to take up again, an art you\u2019d like to try out (even if you\u2019re not an artist), an activity that\u2019s always piqued your curiosity, the desire to learn something new.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If these activities aren\u2019t clearly identified, you run the risk that when you do have time to yourself, you\u2019ll waste it doing nothing very productive or interesting, and feeling guilty for not taking advantage of it. To recharge your batteries properly, you need to identify what you really want to do, and what gives you energy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>By listing the activities that make your heart sing, you\u2019ll be able to understand how to recharge your batteries effectively! You\u2019ll also realize that they\u2019re often not that complicated to set up!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"text-transform:none\">A magic phrase to help you through this change!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019s a simple phrase to help you through this change. It allows you to replace your injunctions with choices, and to reinforce those choices with your values or desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">From now on, instead of saying \u201cI must\u2026 I have to\u2026 I should\u2026\u201d, say instead:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">\u201cI choose to\u2026 because\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>I choose to take care of myself (choice) because my health is important to me (value)!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>I choose to start a new sport (choice), because I like new things and I want to do a regular physical activity (desires)!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>I choose to give myself an hour of time to myself every day (choice), because I need it to blossom and to be truly available for my family (need &amp; value).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What do you think? Will you give it a try?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That's what I wanted to share with you today! In my opinion, these are essential keys. I work on them with all the accompanying spouses I support, because it's  very difficult for expatriate spouses to dare to take care of themselves. This is so for all the reasons I've already mentioned, such as the fact that they don't work, that they're not financially independent and because of all the prejudices about their status as an expatriate spouse preventing them  from daring to take time for themselves!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">Feel free to share your thoughts or strategies (or difficulties) for taking care of yourself in the comments! I\u2019d be delighted to read you and <a href=\"https:\/\/nancybonamy.com\/en\/requesting-a-discovery-session\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>discuss with you<\/u><\/a><em><u>.<\/u> <\/em> See you soon.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Oser t\u2019accorder tu temps \u00e0 toi, en tant que conjointe expatri\u00e9e, est souvent difficile ! Et surtout si tu ne travaille pas ! Je t\u2019explique pourquoi dans cette vid\u00e9o-article. JE T\u2019EN PARLE DANS CETTE VID\u00c9O (que tu peux aussi retrouver sur Youtube). SI TU PR\u00c9F\u00c8RES LIRE, C\u2019EST PAR ICI ! En tant que conjointe expatri\u00e9e, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1936,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1637","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-prendre-soin-de-mon-bien-etre-de-mon-energie","category-je-suis-conjointe-expatriee"],"blocksy_meta":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Conjointe expatri\u00e9e : 3 cl\u00e9s pour oser t\u2019accorder du temps \u00e0 toi ! - Nancy Bonamy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"T&#039;accorder tu temps \u00e0 toi en tant que conjointe expatri\u00e9e est souvent difficile, surtout si tu ne travailles pas ! 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