{"id":1619,"date":"2024-02-19T11:00:54","date_gmt":"2024-02-19T11:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dev.nancybonamy.com\/quelles-sont-ces-peurs-qui-tempechent-de-changer\/"},"modified":"2024-10-25T13:36:22","modified_gmt":"2024-10-25T11:36:22","slug":"quest-ce-qui-vous-empeche-de-changer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nancybonamy.com\/en\/whats-preventing-you-from-changing-2\/","title":{"rendered":"What fears prevent you from changing?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I invite you to find out what fears are preventing you from changing! Why? Because identifying them is the first step to defusing them. Want to find out more? Read this article.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong><mark class=\"has-inline-color has-palette-color-2-color\">LEARN ABOUT IT IN THIS VIDEO!<\/mark><\/strong> (if you rather watch it on Youtube, it\u2019s through <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=xAK9RLLV58g\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">here<\/a>)\n<br>\nAutomatic english translation is available on youtube<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-995f960e wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:25%\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:50%\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"Quelles sont ces peurs qui t&#039;empe\u0302chent de changer ?\" width=\"1280\" height=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/41OfIH9o7JI?start=1&#038;feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"flex-basis:25%\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><mark style=\"background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)\" class=\"has-inline-color has-palette-color-2-color\">IF YOU PREFER READING, it's this way.<\/mark><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"text-transform:none\">Change is often accompanied by fear<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You know that a change is necessary in your life as a humanitarian or expatriate, but you feel blocked! You just can\u2019t get started!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You just can\u2019t put in place what you need, whether it\u2019s for a major life transition (professional, personal, family) or for small changes in your daily life (new habits, taking care of yourself).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">I often come across people who are <strong>convinced that their current situation no longer suits them, and yet are unable to take concrete action to change it!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s disconcerting, I grant you, but it\u2019s good to know that when we feel unable to initiate a change, it\u2019s not usually due to a lack of willpower or motivation! On the contrary!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>What\u2019s behind the block is probably something quite different: a fear!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A conscious or unconscious fear, rational or irrational, legitimate, or illegitimate, that\u2019s not the question!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The question is rather how to identify it and tame it, so that it doesn\u2019t prevent you from creating the positive changes you want to achieve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"text-transform:none\">Why is the idea of change so frightening?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As an expatriate, humanitarian, or expat spouse, you\u2019re of course used to dealing with change and having to create it to adapt. And yet, I\u2019m sure that despite everything, changes \u2013 at least some of them \u2013 also provoke fears in you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>Fear of change is extremely common!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In fact, any change triggers mental, emotional, and physical reactions! Your brain hates the unknown and wants to stay in its comfort zone. It sends out alarm signals, putting your emotions in turmoil and your body on alert!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These fears will lead you to adopt one of three reactions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Flight,<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Freeze,<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fight.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>Not a very useful and effective way of bringing about change!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To better understand how to overcome your fears, it\u2019s a good idea to start by identifying them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"text-transform:none\">What kind of fears are holding back change ?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you know the most <strong>common fears associated with change?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Among the humanitarians, expat spouses and expatriates I work with, these are the fears most often mentioned :<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Fear of losing one\u2019s current life balance (even if it\u2019s not ideal).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fear of the unknown, of uncertainty.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fear of failure, of failing.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fear of what others will think of you.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fear of your own judgment.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do any of these fears echo what you\u2019re feeling? Are there other fears that impact your desire for change?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To help you get to grips with these different fears, let\u2019s take a closer look!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The fear of losing one\u2019s life balance, even if it\u2019s not ideal!<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">I often meet expatriates or humanitarians who are not satisfied with their personal or professional lives. And yet, <strong>they fear that a change could jeopardize the reassuring, positive aspects of their current situation.<\/strong>In a way, they\u2019re afraid of losing everything or too much!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>An expatriate spouse<\/strong> who is considering re-entering the job market, even though she has been taking care of her children full-time for a long time. She fears not being available enough for her family and losing the life balance she has managed to establish.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>A working expatriate<\/strong> who is considering a career change and is anxious about losing financial security or status.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>A humanitarian worker<\/strong> who wants to return home to a \u201cnormal life\u201d but wonders whether he\u2019ll be able to adapt !<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>These are legitimate fears !<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">But <strong>change doesn\u2019t have to mean throwing everything into question and doing a 360-degree turnaround.<\/strong> Change often means establishing small new habits that will enable you to flourish, while preserving what\u2019s important to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">And <strong>if a drastic change is on the horizon, it\u2019s perfectly feasible!<\/strong> If you don\u2019t expect to implement it in 24 hours! We\u2019re talking about starting a process of change that will take a few months. So, it\u2019s not going to turn your life upside down immediately. On the contrary, this change will take place step by step, little by little, very gently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">With my clients, what most often happens is a <strong>combination of both: changing small habits to immediately increase their level of well-being, while moving forward, one step at a time, towards a more significant change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In both cases, they\u2019ll make sure that these changes enable them to maintain the desired balance and, above all, honor their core values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote has-palette-color-7-background-color has-background is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\" style=\"padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)\"><em>\u201cThe secret of change is to focus your energy on creating the new, not fighting the old.\u201d Dan Millman<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The fear of the unknown when faced with a change in life or career.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To change is to try something new, to enter the unknown, to accept the uncertainties that come with it. And that, with no real guarantee of succeeding, of having made the right choice and of having taken the right decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>The unknown is notoriously scary!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">Behind your fear of the unknown lies <strong>the fear of not knowing how to handle what lies ahead!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">And yet, I\u2019m sure <strong>you\u2019ll be able to handle it !<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">How do I know?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Well, if you\u2019re here today, it\u2019s because you\u2019ve already managed everything life has thrown at you so far! Life isn\u2019t a smooth ride for anyone, but even less so for you, expatriate and humanitarian, who has already faced a multitude of transitions, uncertainties and changes! So, I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll be able to manage this change, just as you\u2019ve always managed so far!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">Faced with the uncertainties of change, above all, you need to <strong>clarify what you want in the long term!<\/strong> By clarifying <strong>your direction<\/strong>, you\u2019ll be able to move forward despite the unknowns, because you\u2019ll know that even if you must take detours, it\u2019s to reach your goal in the end!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Like a sailboat that knows its destination but doesn\u2019t know what awaits it as it sails. It\u2019ll have to deal with it to reach its harbour!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">With a clear goal in mind, you can then take action. The best way to get out of the \u201cfreeze response\u201d created by uncertainty is to <strong>start with a very first small step !<\/strong> A first small action that will take you in the right direction ! Then take one step after another to keep moving towards the desired change !<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote has-palette-color-6-background-color has-background is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\" style=\"padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)\"><em>\u201cIf you never try, you\u2019ll never succeed, but if you do try, you may surprise yourself.\u201d <br>Albert Einstein<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The fear of failure when faced with a career or life transition.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">You\u2019re afraid to take the plunge for <strong>fear of failing!<\/strong> And it\u2019s this fear that gives rise to another fear: <strong>the fear of trying!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">I often hear it : <em>\u201cI\u2019m not sure I can do it! I\u2019m afraid of making mistakes ! I\u2019ve already failed in the past, and I don\u2019t want to go wrong again !\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>Change implies to take risks : to fail, to make mistakes. These are risks that shouldn\u2019t hold you back.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong>Failure is part of the change process!<\/strong> It\u2019s not a problem; it\u2019s even <strong>a good source of learning!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">It\u2019s also important to understand that when you fail, the problem isn\u2019t you! <strong>The only real culprit is your strategy!<\/strong> So, it\u2019s by working on your strategy that you can tackle the obstacles!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Failures allow you to correct course, plan differently and start again in a smarter way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">It\u2019s also very important <strong>not to have unreasonable expectations about change! <\/strong>Many people expect to go straight from point A to point B, whereas <strong>change is never linear<\/strong>: you\u2019ll inevitably take a few detours, and that\u2019s normal!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And to conclude on the fear of failure, it\u2019s also interesting to realize that sometimes behind this fear lies the fear of\u2026 succeeding! That\u2019s right, because success implies change, and change is often very scary indeed!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote has-palette-color-6-background-color has-background is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\" style=\"padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)\"><em>\u201cTo fail is to have the opportunity to start again in a smarter way.\u201d<br>Henri Ford<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The fear of other people\u2019s judgements on the changes you could make.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The <strong>fear of other people\u2019s opinions<\/strong> is a fear we rarely talk about when it comes to change! And yet, it\u2019s a very common fear!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps, like many people, you\u2019ve locked yourself into a role filled with injunctions such as \u201cI must\u2026\u201d, \u201cI have to\u2026\u201d \u201cI should\u2026\u201d. These injunctions are generally inherited from your childhood, or the society in which you live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Of course, there are obligations you can\u2019t escape. However, there are also those that you impose on yourself unconsciously, simply because <strong>you think that\u2019s what\u2019s expected of you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>If you work in the humanitarian field<\/strong>, you may be thinking, <em>As a humanitarian, I have to accept the jobs I\u2019m offered, even if they don\u2019t always suit me.\u201d \u201cWorking in this sector, I have to put the needs of others first, even if it\u2019s to the detriment of my personal life!\u201d \u201cMy parents, colleagues, friends only know me as a humanitarian, what will they think of me if I plan to leave this sector?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>If you\u2019re an expatriate spouse<\/strong>,these may include beliefs such as, <em>\u201cI have to earn money to be valuable.\u201d \u201cAs a spouse at home, I have to think of my children first.\u201d \u201cI have a privileged life; I have no right to complain.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"translation-block\"><strong>If you\u2019re a working expat<\/strong>, these may be injunctions such as <em>\u201cI have a good professional situation that brings me financial security and status, even if I\u2019m not fully fulfilled, why would I want to turn everything upside down?\u201d \u201cWorking for myself would be madness \u2013 I\u2019d never be able to provide for my family!\u201d \u201cI have diplomas and experience, so why should I want to do anything else? \u201cI\u2019ve imposed my choice of expatriation on my family, so I\u2019ll just have to be satisfied with my current job.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">Behind these injunctions may lie your <strong>fear of other people\u2019s judgement<\/strong>. In fact, one of the fundamental needs of human beings is <strong>the need to belong<\/strong> (to be part of a group, a community). Therefore, behind it, it\u2019s your <strong>fear of rejection<\/strong> that drives you to attach so much importance to the judgments of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>Because of these fears, you prefer to favour behaviours that facilitate inclusion, rather than risk a change that could undermine your need to belong!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is particularly true in the humanitarian field, where leaving the job also means leaving your tribe. It\u2019s also true as an expatriate, where you evolve in an international and multicultural community that you may be particularly fond of. As an expat spouse, it\u2019s a little different: it\u2019s often because of this status of accompanying spouse, misunderstood, that the fear of rejection or of being looked down upon by others has grown stronger!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These fears are very often linked to your need to belong, but we mustn\u2019t forget that among the five fundamental needs, there\u2019s also the need for self-fulfillment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong>To achieve this last need, it\u2019s essential to learn to detach yourself from the gaze of others, even if your choice to change may provoke negative reactions or misunderstandings.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">Having said that, a first important point: <strong>very often our fear of other people\u2019s judgment is not confirmed at all!<\/strong> Reactions to our changed situation are, more often than we believe, positive and encouraging! That\u2019s what I see with the people I work with! <strong>Their fears of being judged are rarely confirmed!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong>When the reaction is negative,<\/strong> the important thing to remember is that your changes scare other people! As such, <strong>their reactions echo their own fears.<\/strong> Yes, they too have a brain that resists change: they\u2019d rather see you stay with what they already know about you, either because they\u2019re worried about you, or because they\u2019re afraid it might alter your relationship! Sometimes, because it mirrors their own difficulties in initiating change!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote has-palette-color-7-background-color has-background is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\" style=\"padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)\"><em>\u201cTo be free is also not to act according to the gaze of others.\u201d<\/em><br><em>Fr\u00e9d\u00e9ric Lenoir<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The fear of disappointing yourself in the face of difficult changes.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">Another fear that is often overlooked and yet crippling: <strong>the fear of disappointing yourself!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong>You fear your own judgment!<\/strong> You fear that they will lead you into a negative spiral of self-criticism and guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">I often hear people say things like: <em>\u201cI\u2019ve already tried so many times without ever going all the way! I couldn\u2019t bear to disappoint myself again!\u201d<\/em> I\u2019ve even had several people tell me that they were reluctant to commit to a coaching support, for fear of finding themselves, once again, faced with their inability to create the desired changes. Fortunately, this fear has not come true, because coaching enables them to accompany this process of change and thus bounce back in the right way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>It\u2019s a real fear to disappoint oneself.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The key here is to learn self-kindness and self-compassion!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">You might think that to stay motivated and keep moving forward, you need to be constantly self-critical, self-judgmental, ruthless with yourself? But it\u2019s just the opposite! <strong>What you need when the going gets tough is kindness and compassion!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What is your reaction when your best friend or your child are facing a difficulty? Are you going to add to it by telling them they\u2019re no good? No, on the contrary, you\u2019re going to highlight what works well and encourage them to try again!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is exactly what you need when faced with a life change or transition: to offer yourself kindness and compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>Become your own best ally, your own best friend!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And to do that, you can start by getting to know better yourself. This is what will help you accept yourself as you are, with your imperfections, doubts, mistakes, strengths, and weaknesses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Only when you accept yourself as you are, can you really change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because you\u2019ll know that, whatever happens, you\u2019ll be kind to yourself! Even when it\u2019s difficult and complicated, you\u2019ll be able to be your own best friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">It\u2019s an incredible strength to become your own ally: you won\u2019t be afraid to move forward, because <strong>you won\u2019t be afraid of your own reaction to your own failures!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote has-palette-color-6-background-color has-background is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\" style=\"padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)\"><em>\u201cThe curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change\u201d.<br> Carl Roger<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"text-transform:none\">How can you overcome your fears in the face of change?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By detailing the different fears you may face, I\u2019ve already given you a few pointers on how to tame them. Here\u2019s a summary of what I think is important, with a few additional ideas as a bonus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Whatever happens, you\u2019ll be able to manage these changes.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">Adopt this precious mantra: \u201cWhatever happens, you\u2019ll be able to handle it\u201d. That\u2019s what I always say to the people I accompany.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>No matter what happens, you will handle it!<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When you feel fear rising up, don\u2019t hesitate to repeat this phrase to yourself!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">By reconnecting with who you are, you\u2019re bound to realize that <strong>you\u2019re equipped to create change,<\/strong> because as an expat, accompanying spouse or humanitarian, <strong>you\u2019ve already proved it time and time again!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Clarify who you are today.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Become fully aware of who you are today: your values, your strengths, your needs, your passions, your qualities, your experience, your skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Of course, also identify your fears, limiting beliefs and injunctions, so that you can defuse them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>It\u2019s this self-awareness that will enable you to accept yourself as you are.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This greater self-awareness will enable you to become your own best ally when it comes to making the changes you want!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s the key to creating positive changes in your life as an expatriate or humanitarian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Identify the \u201cfor what\u201d and the \u201cWhy\u201d of this change!<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Identify your \u201cfor what\u201d? What is your goal? Your destination? The concrete change you want to create.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Identify also your \u201cWhy\u201d? Why do you want to make this change? What are your deepest motivations and needs?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong>These \u201cwhy\u2019s\u201d and \u201cwhat\u2019s\u201d will enable you to overcome your fears, because you\u2019ll be able to reconnect with them as soon as things get a little more difficult.<\/strong> You\u2019ll be able to relate to them when you have doubts, when you face failure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They also help you appreciate the process of change, which is never totally linear!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Evaluate the cost of inaction if you don\u2019t initiate change.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Two questions you can ask yourself to help you overcome your fears are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cWhat\u2019s it costing me not to change?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">and<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cWhat does it cost me to change?\"<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s also a way of reinforcing your \u201cWhy?\u201d, your reason for moving forward and not letting fear take hold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong>In general, inaction costs much more than action!<\/strong> And if it isn\u2019t, it\u2019s probably because the change you\u2019re considering isn\u2019t the right one!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Value every small step forward.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What scares your brain the most are big, drastic changes! When all you need to do is focus on every little action you take.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><strong>To calm your fears, break down your goal into small chunks.<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A friend of mine illustrated this by saying: \u201cRather than eating the whole sausage at once, let\u2019s cut it into small slices. It\u2019s much easier to digest!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The key here is to <strong>value every little action towards your goal:<\/strong> that\u2019s what keeps you enjoying the process and staying in the action. <strong>valoriser chaque petite action vers ton objectif<\/strong> : c\u2019est ce qui te permet d\u2019appr\u00e9cier le processus et de rester dans l\u2019action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote has-palette-color-6-background-color has-background is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\" style=\"padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\" style=\"padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)\"><em>\u201cA journey of a thousand miles always begins with a first step.\u201d <br>Lao-Tseu<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"text-transform:none\">What do you need to overcome your fears of change?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Have you been able to identify those fears that prevent you from creating change in your life as an expatriate or humanitarian?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">If so, congratulations! You\u2019ve got a few keys to taming them so that they don\u2019t get in the way of your desire for change! <strong>Awareness is a crucial first step!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">But it\u2019s sometimes not enough! If you feel that, despite everything, these fears are holding you back, what you need <strong>to do is to tame them so that they can lessen their power over you, so that they don\u2019t rule your life and your choices!<\/strong> You can start by using the tips in this article.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\">And if not, you should know that as part of my coaching program, I help you to overcome these blocks and create the changes you need. If you think this is the kind of support you could use, <a href=\"https:\/\/nancybonamy.com\/en\/requesting-a-discovery-session\/\" target=\"_self\">contact me<\/a> for a discovery session, so we can assess together whether my program is right for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Quelles sont ces peurs qui t&#8217;emp\u00eachent de changer ! Je t&rsquo;invite \u00e0 les d\u00e9celer ! Pourquoi ? Parce que les identifier c&rsquo;est la premi\u00e8re \u00e9tape pour les d\u00e9samorcer. Envie d&rsquo;en savoir plus ? Je t&rsquo;en parle dans cette vid\u00e9o ! JE T&rsquo;EN PARLE DANS CETTE VIDEO (si tu pr\u00e9f\u00e8res la visionner sur Youtube, c&rsquo;est par [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1889,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,10,21,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-confiance-en-moi","category-je-suis-conjointe-expatriee","category-je-travaille-dans-lhumanitaire","category-reussir-mes-transitions-de-vie-de-carriere"],"blocksy_meta":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Quelles sont ces peurs qui t&#039;emp\u00eachent de changer ? - Nancy Bonamy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"D\u00e9couvre ces peurs qui t&#039;emp\u00eachent de changer ou d&#039;oser un changement dans ta vie d&#039;expatri\u00e9, d&#039;humanitaire ou de conjoint accompagnant.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nancybonamy.com\/en\/whats-preventing-you-from-changing-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Quelles sont ces peurs qui t&#039;emp\u00eachent de changer ? - Nancy Bonamy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"D\u00e9couvre ces peurs qui t&#039;emp\u00eachent de changer ou d&#039;oser un changement dans ta vie d&#039;expatri\u00e9, d&#039;humanitaire ou de conjoint accompagnant.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nancybonamy.com\/en\/whats-preventing-you-from-changing-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Nancy Bonamy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/nancybonamycoaching\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-02-19T11:00:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-10-25T11:36:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/nancybonamy.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/Photo_Quelles-sont-ces-peurs-qui-tempechent-de-changer.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"700\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"587\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"laurence Fernando\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"laurence Fernando\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"17 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nancybonamy.com\\\/quest-ce-qui-vous-empeche-de-changer\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nancybonamy.com\\\/quest-ce-qui-vous-empeche-de-changer\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"laurence Fernando\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nancybonamy.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/fca04c98f061a897e6e69793d01bd4ec\"},\"headline\":\"Quelles sont ces peurs qui t&#8217;emp\u00eachent de changer ?\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-02-19T11:00:54+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-10-25T11:36:22+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nancybonamy.com\\\/quest-ce-qui-vous-empeche-de-changer\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":3685,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nancybonamy.com\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nancybonamy.com\\\/quest-ce-qui-vous-empeche-de-changer\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nancybonamy.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2024\\\/02\\\/Photo_Quelles-sont-ces-peurs-qui-tempechent-de-changer.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Confiance en moi\",\"Conjointes expatri\u00e9es\",\"Humanitaires\",\"Transitions de vie &amp; de carri\u00e8re\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nancybonamy.com\\\/quest-ce-qui-vous-empeche-de-changer\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nancybonamy.com\\\/quest-ce-qui-vous-empeche-de-changer\\\/\",\"name\":\"Quelles sont ces peurs qui t'emp\u00eachent de changer ? 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