{"id":1581,"date":"2018-01-23T12:41:42","date_gmt":"2018-01-23T12:41:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dev.nancybonamy.com\/comment-booster-son-expatriation-grace-a-la-psychologie-positive\/"},"modified":"2024-10-14T18:07:20","modified_gmt":"2024-10-14T16:07:20","slug":"comment-booster-son-expatriation-grace-a-la-psychologie-positive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nancybonamy.com\/en\/boost-expatriation-with-positive-psychology\/","title":{"rendered":"How to boost your expatriation with positive psychology"},"content":{"rendered":"

Although my many expatriations<\/strong> share some similarities, none of them are alike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For my part, I've experienced all types of personal status (alone, as a couple, with my family) and professional status (employee, accompanying spouse, student, self-employed). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I've gone through 4 career changes (teacher, manager of professional musicians, humanitarian in conflict zones, professional and personal coach). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not forgetting, of course, that I've been immersed in a wide diversity of cultures, living in several countries in Africa, the Middle East, Europe, several cities in North America and several Russian republics (Chechnya, Dagestan, Kabardino-Balkaria, etc.). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enriching and positive expatriations.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Looking back, I realize that I'm incredibly lucky! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the challenges and difficulties, eventually, all my expatriations<\/strong> turned into enriching and positive experiences.<\/strong> I say \u2018eventually\u2019, because expatriation<\/strong> is not a smooth ride and has its share of difficulties, <\/strong>doubts and questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are ups and downs, times when we love our expat life and others when we question this choice of life! There are countries where it seems easier. But it's also the countries that are considered more \u2018difficult\u2019 that are full of unforgettable moments!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having lived in over 12 different countries, I'm often asked which was my favorite! It's an impossible question to answer! I loved them all! And why is that? Because each experience has enriched me and, above all, each context has its own positive points! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boosting your expat life with positive psychology.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

To help me understand what has led me to this very positive assessment<\/strong> of my many years as an expatriate, I had some fun listing the tips I've applied throughout my expatriations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I then reread this list from the point of view of my training in positive psychology and I realized that... I hadn't invented anything! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without realizing it, I'd used a number of keys<\/strong> that the science of well-being recommends to help us achieve our full potential!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, every expatriate is different and needs to find his or her own keys. However, positive psychology offers a wide variety of tools so that everyone can use the ones that suit them best. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here I'm sharing just five tips, tested and approved by the science of happiness! You'll see that they're all very simple and logical! But they're not always easy to apply daily!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#1 - Adopt a growth mindset abroad.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There is one prerequisite for a successful expatriation: adopting an open mindset.<\/strong> In positive psychology, this is known as a growth mindset<\/strong> (its opposite is a fixed mindset).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A growth mindset<\/strong> loves to discover<\/strong> and learn,<\/strong> because it knows that this is the key to evolving and fitting in. It's prepared to make efforts,<\/strong> because it knows it's necessary to keep moving forward. And above all, it accepts the idea of making mistakes,<\/strong> of not knowing, of not understanding everything! It dares to take risks,<\/strong> is open to criticism and learn from its experiences.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adopting a growth mindset is crucial when you're on an expatriate assignment, if you want to get to grips with a new environment and integrate into another culture. But that's not all!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This growth mindset is just as important to apply to yourself!<\/strong> During our lives, but even more so when we're expatriates, our identity changes. So, we must be ready to accept our new needs and desires... and certainly also to discover unsuspected strengths within ourselves! Seize the opportunity to get to know ourselves better,<\/strong> to surprise ourselves, to live differently, to do differently, perhaps even to be differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Activating our curiosity is key<\/strong> to developing a growth mindset, and I'll tell you all about it in this 2nd tip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#2 - Activate your curiosity when expatriating.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In positive psychology, it has been shown that curiosity is an essential character strength for increasing our well-being.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Curiosity seems to be a common denominator for all expatriates. It's probably our thirst for curiosity that drove us to travel and settle abroad.<\/strong> Curiosity is, of course, essential to discovering our surroundings, our new environment, its culture, its values, its beliefs, and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But curiosity can also help us deal with the worries and concerns of everyday life.<\/strong> When, for example, we're frustrated, overwhelmed or irritated. After the honeymoon phase<\/strong> at the start of an expatriation, it's common to face cultural shock,<\/strong> which is full of frustrations!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here's a funny yet serious little tip from Benjamin Zander in his book \u2018The art of Possibility <\/a>\u2019. Every time you encounter a problem, instead of getting angry and judging, try saying to yourself \u201cHow fascinating! How interesting!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This little sentence has the incredible power to open our minds, stimulate our curiosity and help us approach difficulties in a different way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To find out more about curiosity, read my article: Curiosity is not a fault.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

#3 - Expressing gratitude in your expatriate life<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When expatriating, it's important to choose to focus on and appreciate the positive aspects<\/strong> of this lifestyle and of our host country.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It's not a question of denying the negative and always being positive, but of considering that our brain has a negative bias<\/strong> that leads it to give more weight to what doesn't work, rather than to what works well. Research has shown that it takes five positive experiences to counterbalance a single negative experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, it's important to counteract this bias by consciously looking for the positive<\/strong> in our daily lives. Nowhere is perfect, but everywhere there are advantages and opportunities!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So why not make a conscious decision to focus on the positive things<\/strong> this new host country can bring us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To help us do this, we can express our gratitude! Gratitude allows us to considerably increase our level of well-being. You can keep a gratitude diary in which you write down every evening three positive things that have happened to you during the day. You can also set up a family ritual, at the dinner table, where everyone recounts at least one positive event from their day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you're looking for other ideas, check out my article on this subject: The power of gratitude in expatriation.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

#4 - Savoring the present moment while abroad.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

An expatriate friend told me, once back in her home country, that when she was abroad, all she dreamed of going home. And now that she's back, she only regrets one thing: not having been able to make the most of her expatriation!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we spend our time dwelling on the past or projecting ourselves into the future, we miss the most important thing of all: the present moment.<\/strong> Whether in this country or elsewhere, it's what we have right now, here and now. These moments are part of our lives, and as such, they are precious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Confucius was right when he said: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u2018Wherever you go, go with all your heart\u2019.<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

This seems to me to be all the more important when we feel that we are sacrificing certain things: we might as well make the most of what we are offered to make it really worthwhile! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accepting the present and enjoying it is a choice that's entirely up to us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are two particularly effective tools to help us do this: mindfulness and savoring.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n